Beatty

Beatty, the God of Disorganization and Self-Deprecation, is one of the Twin Gods of the Gods of Glasses. He was born through Gustin 's left nipple, and seemingly envies his twin brother Schoengart. He reportedly dislikes looking at himself in the mirror, and is particularly sensitive about Douglas fir wooden spools. He likes to turn to his disciple, Siri, to help with his loneliness.

Creation of the Universe Arc
Because Beatty's motorcycle is so incredibly high tech, he couldn't repair it at the dealership, resulting in them needing to send it far away for it to be repaired. As he refused to pay the transportation fee, it greatly delayed the repair, causing him to miss the Battle of Stalingrad.

The Taxation Crisis and the Revolution
Beatty abandoned the god realm and went to live among humans some time in the 70s. The 1770s, to be exact. He descended on the east coast of what is now the United States, several weeks of travel away from the Ranch. When he assimilated into the society of humans, he noticed something peculiar. The colonists whom he lived among were having their taxed income go directly to King Geoge III, instead of going towards infrastructure or education. They were wasting taxpayer dollars. Beatty, furious that ANYONE would make poor use of taxpayer dollars, rallied the people to stop this madness. Along with George Washington and his sister, Siri Washington, Beatty began a revolution that expelled the British from America. However, Siri fell in battle, much to the dismay of George. George could not go on to lead the nation, so Beatty captured Siri's departing soul and contained it within his watch, ensuring that her wisdom would live on.

The 1,000 Year Spool Grudge
As Beatty roamed the Earth, he gathered several apostles to spread the teachings of Gustin. On one of the annual holidays for gift giving, his apostles brought him many spools of the highest quality Douglas fir wood, much to his joy. However, Beatty made the crucial mistake of letting McCarthy play with his Douglas fir wooden spools, and McCarthy ended up headslamming the spoons to the point of them breaking. Despite this, Beatty was not terribly affected, as he simply assumed that his apostles could procure more spools within the coming year. What Beatty failed to realize, however, was that Dick Cheney had already swiftly and sneakily spread his Capitalism style jutsu throughout the universe, causing manufacturers to switch to Cheney's cheap oil based plastics for spool production. When the new year rolled around, and all that was left was plastic, Beatty was furious, and swore that someday he would get back at Cheney for making him pay extra for quality Douglas fir wooden spools. To this day, the spools are a sensitive topic to Beatty, and if anyone were to take his spools lightly, their souls would be devoured in the merciless void of his eyes.